A Mornings Amusement

This is a short one but something that I’ve had a good giggle about this morning.

**Disclaimer:  The subject photo is not at all relevant to the company WP rafted with, RnR are awesome, highly recommend them.**

WP we’ve talked about before (Nepalese Projects Have some Interesting Dynamics).  He’s the older chap who sits behind me, comes in ridiculously rarely and usually after 1500 (no clue when he leaves).  When he does come in he spends an awful lot of time doing personal things, complaining about anything and everything (you name it he has a rant – worse than me!), and eating horrid foods.  When he comes in he always brings some sort of horrendous burger/sandwich, fries, and mammoth soft drink.  He sits in the middle of the open plan office and inhales this ugh food that stinks out the whole area and slurps his straw…. *shudder*

Recently, he came in about 1500 and proceeded to fall asleep.  I was in the kitchen having a chat with one of the BD gents when a marketing lass came out can you hear that?  Nope – we were busy chatting.  Pause.  Listen.  Yep – we can hear that.  The snoring emanating from the man was going right through the office.  Heck people from other sections were wondering what was going on!  One of the other blokes popped over and we were slamming folders on the desk etc. – no signs of life – if he weren’t snoring you’d have thought he’d died.  Eventually he was shaken by the shoulder and told to go home.  Funny times.

So yesterday he had a couple of funny things happening.  He came in and I was sitting by the window trying to get a sms sent out (darned place has rubbish mobile reception).  I saw that he was having troubles with his screen mount – it just refused to stay in the spot he wanted.  The nut on the top wasn’t snug so the arm was falling.  Push it up, position it, let go, *falling down*.  It was hilarious how grumpy he was getting…and no one was helping him out.  He never thanks anyone so we just let him be and smile and nod when he’s on a rant.

Yesterday he also had a hilarious phone call.  It sounded like he’d called his doctors office for an appointment.  When asked what it was for he explained that he’d been rafting on the weekend and had an episode of not-being-able-to-breathe.  He had to abort the rafting trip part way through.  Because he was able to breathe as soon as he took off the lifejacket, his most logical explanation was that the river guides had done his lifejacket up too tight.  I see a couple of issues with this: a) how does one physically get a life jacket so tight that you cannot breathe?  (I’m envisaging a corset style arrangement with a foot in the back and pulling on the straps); and b) why the hell don’t you just loosen them a tad?  Me – I think he was getting a touch of anxiety and his overweight status wasn’t at all helping him out.  He even had a website of all the available life jackets up so that he could tell the doctor which it was I think it was either this or that type.  Now I’m no rafting expert, though we all know I’m thoroughly enjoying the game, but to set up a doctors appointment two days after the event for a too-tight lifejacket made everyone evacuate the area due to laughter!

Mr Cooney is going into semi-retirement, only coming to the office every two weeks and those weeks that he is working will only be 2-3 days a week.  After a good 20 minutes of laughing about these grand stories he confessed he’ll miss this place.  Yep – its amusing for sure.

 

I can totally hear Wade yelling at his paddlers, cheering as they pop out of the rapid.  Not sure what this event was but it looked like great fun with some rafting, sup, cycling, gold panning, branding timber…It looked long and intense.  Note to self – look up the Nomad race.

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4 thoughts on “A Mornings Amusement

  1. Update on Thursday: Great point from the guys as we were reminiscing about this issue again “I find it ironic that the water man can’t handle a bit of water”. WPs title is something along the lines of “the main man for anything water and hydropower related”, and he sure pitches himself as being the expert, been everywhere, done everything.

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  2. Update at 1100: He came in early and without deadly food! He did proceed to get straight on the phone and have a conversation with someone. Evidently last night he had a lack-of-ability-to-breathe recurrence. And now he’s asking his lawyers whether he should sue them. Chad has a good point – we need to work out who he’s planning on suing and give them a head up…of course thats falling to me as the one who likes rafting…I don’t want to spend the five hours I’d nee to listen to his rant to find out!

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