*splish splosh*


Young Freebs.  Young being the operable word, the kid is an absolute child.  A few amusing anecdotes about the lad.

Anniversary gifts are hard

His ‘anniversary’ with his girlfriend is on Anzac Day.  Apparently they had to choose between the first movie date on Anzac Day or three days later (his brothers birthday) when he met her parents.  So the anniversary is in 1 week.  He asked for suggestions.  Last year he also asked for suggestions.  Last year he thought that he’d get her a keyboard.  For their anniversary.  A keyboard.  For a computer.  Last year Knighty gave him a world of crap for that and he got her a clock as well (because thats an improvement *shrug*).  I suggested lingerie.

This year he  asks for suggestions again.  His idea: a remote control.  Universal.  Fancy.  Just what she wants.  For their anniversary.  Romantic one this one.  We gave him what for on that.  Today he’s decided lingerie is a good idea.  But he’s not sure how to go about buying it.  Apparently he’s not comfortable walking into the shop and saying ‘about that big’ and pointing to a woman.  Heck – he’s looking for the online option.  Watch this space, I may be going shopping with the lad to legitimise his lingerie purchase.  This will be interesting.

They really remove the seats?

We’ve recently had a bit of a failure at work.  I like to call it a wrinkle.  Really it was a 2/3 backfilled tunnel that collapsed a bit.  Cut off the rail line, big disasters, *blah blah blah*.  There is of course a need to rebuild this thing.  So we had a large amount of steel produced in South Korea and air freighted over to Perth.  The faster this thing is built the better for the bottom line (of course).  So the conversation goes like this:

Scott: They air freighted it?

Rhiannon: Yep.  Singapore airlines put it in a 747.  Not cheap.

Scott: Removing the seats can be expensive.

Brett: Did they really remove the seats?

Lars: [deadpan face] Of course they did how else would it fit.

Brett: [knowing understanding look] Oh cool, of course it cost a lot.

I have very rarely seen a grown man cry.  I was genuinely concerned for Lars’ health.  He was literally crying with laughter.  How can the kid possibly be so gullible?

Full Circle

So in answer …  He is terribly gullible and innocent.  He suggests a remote control for his girlfriend for their anniversary.  My response to him “You are only permitted to buy her a remote if it is attached to something interesting”.  Of course he turns all red and *she didn’t just say that, did she*.  He, unfortunately for him, pipes up with the fact that he’s never been to a sex shop.

Of course Lars backs me up.  Your girlfriend will thank you if you get her something with a remote.  Preferably not an attached one.  Brett goes on the defensive “shes an innocent Catholic school girl”.  Yeah, right, innocent Catholic school girls don’t exist.

I suspect he’ll be trying to get the balls to take himself into a sex shop for her present next year.

The rain continues on site.  The boys are all still in camp and the EPCM is busy trying to not go (more) insane.

Quit laughing

Scott has three kids, a 9yo girl, 7yo boy and a bub.  The 9yo was asked to head into the bedroom to find the keys.  She managed to find dads old slingshot (never mind the questions ‘why do you have a slingshot?’ ‘why is the slingshot in the same drawer as the keys?’ ‘how hasn’t it been found many times before?’).  Its amazing how many walls those ball bearings can go through.  She managed to shoot it through the wall, into the ensuite, smash the light to smithereens and into the next wall.  Of course all the missus could say was “quit laughing, you’re supposed to be telling her off”.

Find the mop

Dean has a history with bathrooms also.  His house has the one bathroom on the ground level at the back of the house.  The ongoing family fun – throw the coldest bucket of water possible onto the unsuspecting victim in the shower.  Dad won the day when he got the hose through the window and wouldn’t let up.  Oh oh.

Daddys got to paint the ceiling

Young miss, at 8 years of age, decided she could cook.  She put the caramel sauce into the blender, put the lid on, hit the ‘go’ button and…caramel sauce all over the ceiling.  Of course she can cook…getting the lid onto the blender properly; parental assistance recommended.

Why the hell would you buy that for them?

Turns out that Scott may not be the most responsible parent, story three for him.  His kids are children of the millennium, they have every gadget and toy under the sun.  But every child needs decent hand eye coordination.  Brilliant idea – buy the kids a couple of baseball mitts and ball and teach them to throw and catch together.  Slightly less brilliant idea – buy them a baseball to go with the mitts.  Them things are hard.  Every time the kids play with them one of them throws a bad one and the other gets angry, hunts down the ball, then throws it as hard as they can.  Doesn’t matter how many times dad says ‘mitt between the ball and your body’, at the age of 7 its not always going to go to plan.  She throws the ball, it hits the top edge of the glove and straight into the little mans head.  Now there are two baseballs and a very displease mother (again).

A story about me

Mark and I had a chat about my future the other week.  Looking at one of the Projects in the States; in Illinois. Apparently Mark and Keila had a lovely giggle about how amusing it would be that I’d have to choose a church – and then of course attend also.  Apparently the area is super bible belt.

I looked up the project and then the local towns on Wikipedia; many of them are ‘sundown towns’.  Being me the very next thing I look up is ‘sundown town’.  Turns out they’re towns that had a law that all black people must be out of the town by sundown on pain of death.  I suppose it is no longer a law, but the populations from the census shows that they’re still very Anglo towns with (up to) 3% of residents being Hispanic, Asian, and / or Native American.

A week or so later Mark was talking about the project again and saying that I’d have to choose a gun too.  Lots of guns in Kentucky apparently.  My only response was “Choosing a gun will be easier for me than choosing a church”.

While all this is going on, I’m watching glue dry.  Why?  Because I can.  Surely you played with PVA when you were a kid, I just never grew out of this one.


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